Dreaming What Ifs...

A Full Decade ends in a little Disaster

Last week (amidst all the business of our lives) Jammin' turned 10; double digits, a decade, four times younger than me!

And for the first time in his life, he had a definite mind of the type of cake he wanted.  Usually his answer was "I don't care" or "I don't know" or "Okay, that's fine" when given suggestions.

This year he wanted a Dinosaur cake.  So, being a dutiful mother, I went on-line and found some directions for making one.

 

The cake didn't turn out too bad, I thought.  Not the cutest looking dino, but definitely turned out to resemble some sort of ancient prehistoric beast. 

Proudly, I set the cake on the table.  The kids clapped and cheered.  Then, we took our leave for a dinner celebration.  (Jammin' chose the restaurant; a family tradition).

A few hours later, we returned with thoughts of opening presents and then cake and ice cream.  It would be the end of a busy, but happy birthday.

But - alas!  We returned home to the scene of a crime:

We forgot that Zeus was on the loose.  Why was I surprised?  I had left it on the table.  Anything on the table is fair game to him, especially when his family leaves him alone for a few hours.

In the end, Zeus took the cake.  Fortunately, I still had cupcakes left over from a batch made for Jammin's class party at school.   

Documented by children

The following is not for the faint of heart.....

A week has passed since Zoe left us.  It has been a sad week.  The house just doesn't seem right - too quiet, missing a spark of life without her.  The kids have handled the situation great.  There were some tears, but they seemed to accept her passing with more grace than me.  After I downloaded the pictures from the kids cameras today, I suddenly realized why.  They had plenty of time to say goodbye and documented the entire event.......

The last picture on Buttercup's camera.  Jammin' must have taken it for her.  Zoe looks fairly good here, but she is not doing well.  Her face is swollen so badly she cannot drink water.  She is in pain, but loves her kids.

 

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I did not realize Jammin' had his camera.  If I had known I may have stopped him from taking pictures.  I was too wrapped up in the moment.

The vet  arrived (he's a great doctor who made a housecall on a Sunday) and was surprised at how quickly she had gone downhill in the two days since he had seen her.  He doesn't like this part of the job, but says we are doing the right thing.  She is already dying.  We will help ease her suffering.

We gently walked Zoe to a sunny spot in the yard and had her lay down on a towel.  Her steps were slow and labored and her breathing heavy.  Her tail only wagged once.

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Dave helped hold her leg as the doctor inserted a catheter into her vein.  I gently stroked her soft black fur, reassuring her the pain would be gone soon.  Tears fell from my eyes.  I had told Dave I couldn't cry, that if I started I'd never be able to stop.  I've been holding it all in; my cancer fears, my surgery pains, and now Zoe. 

Death is a part of life.  It shouldn't be a scary moment to fear.  Watching Zoe go was peaceful and seeing mom cry was part of the moment. 

The kids picked flowers to lay with Zoe in her grave.    

Buttercup and Jammin' both helped dig the hole, even though it was ceremonial at best.  The Caboose was there for it all too, even though he didn't really understand.

We gently lowered her into the grave and said a few words about her loving and gentle nature.  She was a good dog, a fun dog, a happy dog.  She was our dog and we loved her.

 

 

ZOE

Zoe

Sept 17, 2001 - April 3, 2011  (taken from us by a mass cell tumor)

 

Zoe loved her family.  She greeted us each morning with her tail wagging so hard her entire butt wiggled.  She loved visitors and would greet our neighbors with the same happiness if they happened to be walking by our yard.  Grandmas and Grandpas were included in this love.

 

Zoe loved her fetch.  She was a relentless chaser, especially if the bright red Kong was bounced hard enough across the yard.  I only saw her give up twice on that thing in her entire life....once when the temperature climbed to 103°F and another time when my young cousin threw it for her at least 100 times.  That was when she grabbed her Kong and ran and hid.

She was a dog who knew time.  At 3pm she'd start looking out the windows, knowing the kids would be home from school.  At 3:45pm she'd start letting us know it was almost dinner time.  At 4:15pm she'd be freaking out because we had forgotten dinner time.   

Of course she was a lab.  She LOVED the water.  Sometimes she'd go lay down in the creek at our old house and just hang out.  The first time she visited my dad's house, she came in the front door, out the back door, across the yard, and jumped off the boat dock to swim in the Puget Sound.  We hadn't even been there for 5 minutes before she was in that stinky water.

Last weekend we took a trip to Portland and Zoe took a dip in her favorite creek.  We were a little upset at the time, not wanting a wet dog in the car with us....little did we know it would be her last time.

Jammin' was 8 months old when we purchased Zoe.  Our friends, Chris and Susie, brought their last remaining 5 puppies to our house....how could we say no to all those cute little babies running around our yard?  At the time I almost lost my mind and came close to giving her back.  I had a baby and a puppy.  Life was insane.....

but now, almost 10 years later I wouln't have changed any of the last time with her.  Zoe was a great dog.  I'm going to miss her....    

 

 

Jammin's Limerick about Zoe:

Every time I get home from school

Zoe's fast, Zeus is a mule

I give her some food

She's in a good mood

Her brain's an amazing tool