Dreaming What Ifs...

The Mad Hatter Said It Best.

"You're not the same as you were before.  You were much more....muchier.  You've lost your muchness."

"My muchness?"

"In there, something's missing."      

                (The Mad Hatter to Alice in "Alice In Wonderland" 2010)

It took a few days for me to dwell on the meaning of these words.  And then it occurred to me.  The words were true.  I have lost my muchness.  

When did I lose it and where did it go?  Has it just been a gradual decline over the past few years or was it all of a sudden?  I hardly know.

Something is missing in me.  I've lost a spark of my inner core.  I've lost the enjoyment of things I used to do.  I just play a steady game of "catch-up" on chores around the house and yard.  My life is dictated by what needs to be done instead of what I'd like to do.  I feel lost in the role of wife and mother and realize that "Karmyn" has been missing for some time.

In the corner of my mind sits a list of unfinished creations, waiting.  On a shelf sits ribbons, paper, and photos gathering dust.  In a small file sits a few hundred characters twiddling their thumbs while I walk around in a state of numbness.  They are all waiting for me, like the Mad Hatter waited for Alice.....to find my muchness. 

I Bet Her Pickles Don't Taste Like Fennel

This lady sells pickles during the Knight's Jousting Event.  She promised them cold and crispy. 

I wonder if more men bought her pickles than women.

I wonder what type of bra she was wearing to keep such tight control of her pickles - considering she had to bend down and display her wares to those of us sitting on the ground.

I wonder if she even likes pickles. 

(We attended the Shrewsbury Renaissance Festival over the weekend.  The kids had a blast.  I enjoyed the Joust.   And the title of this post is in Reference to THIS POST.) 

Power to the Typo

Just down the road, not too far from my house, was a little gas station.  It was the only business on this busy stretch of road, a lonely vigil between the two towns where I live.  The gas wasn't cheaper or more expensive.  The mini-mart inside didn`t carry anything more special than any other gas station. 

When the economy went bust, so did the gas station.  I don't know the reasons the station closed, but I was saddened. Anytime a business closes I partially blame myself thinking if I had stopped and shopped they might still be open.

Then one day, graffiti appeared on the lonely building.  Well, it wasn't really graffiti.  It was a message:

But look closer - Really look......

Any message the writer may have intended was lost in his typo.  Now I don't feel sorry for the lonely gas station.  Stupid idiot....can't even spell.  All the power of the words is gone.  All I see is a big "L" out of place. 

First Day of School, again!

I can't believe summer is over.  I am usually ready for Autumn, but this year it has been so chilly, I hardly feel like summer was even here.

Especially since my garden was a bust.  Cold weather plants did great (tons of broccoli, lettuce, radishes) but anything that required heat was a loss - (corn, carrots, cucumbers).  So, my kitchen was fairly silent this summer instead of the usual busyness with canning and freezing.  (do I even bother to mention my green tomatoes?  Seriously - I've had 3 ripe ones to eat.)

So, when Thursday arrived and my children donned their school wear, I was a bit out of sorts.  I'm just not ready for summer to be over.

Jammin' started 4th grade with Mrs. S - the same teacher Buttercup had last year for kindergarten (we all got a kick out of this fact considering Jammin' is the oldest and should have all the teachers first, right?). 

He was eager for school to begin.  I think he was getting bored playing his sister's games all summer long.  It was time to get back to being with his buddies.

Buttercup is a first grader.  No more baby stuff for her.  She is my brave child, ready to face the world and any challenges it has to offer.  Where did she come from?  I'd rather stay hidden under my safe hidey-hole. 

She spent the summer bossing her baby brother around, leading him by the hand into all sorts of games and adventures.  She never once complained of boredom.  All she had to do was show The Caboose how to make mud pies, chase chickens, or wash his hands properly.  He was her eager companion (unless she got too bossy and he started screaming - but that's another post for another day).

Her best friend, Ella, is in her class.  Her other friend, Abi, is there as well.  She's confident that this year will be her best ever and she already told me this afternoon she can't wait until 2nd grade.  (don't rush me, baby - I can wait).

And as far as The Caboose?  He was sad to see them leave for school, happy to see them come back home....but I think for the next couple of days I think he is mostly happy that he has his mama all to himself!

Jammin's Joke

(he made this up himself)

Two guys are eating toast.  The first guy has a whole piece.  The second guy only has half a slice.

The first guy says, "My bread is whole grain."

The second guy says, "Hmmm....mine must be half grain."

Pinnipeds

Here is a list of what we saw on the Simpson Reef -

Roosevelt Elk