Dreaming What Ifs...

Another Spyish Moment

Last July (2007) ABC's Extreme Home Makeover worked on a house in the neighboring town.  It was huge news to our local economy.  We thought about taking the bus tour to see the progress, but were too busy getting ready for our family vacation to Disneyland.   The episode aired in October 2007. 

We watched the episode and wondered where the house was located.  We knew the general area and figured the home was on a side street.   But, I hadn't paid close attention to the local news so never heard the exact address.

Sadly, on December 29, 2007, the little girl, Janessa, for whom the home was built, lost her battle to cancer.  And to top this off, the family may lose their home.  What a horrible ending.   But, this information isn't what this post is really about.

A couple of months ago, we were driving to town on one of our back-road routes (quite close to the mysterious airport) when the subject of the Make-over House came up.  Dave turned his head and said - "Hey, is that the house right there?"

My jaw dropped and eyes literally popped from their sockets.  Yes, it was the house.  A house that I drive by TWICE A WEEK or more.   A house I drive by on the way to my favorite grocery store.  A house I drive by on the way to Piano Lessons.  A house I drive by on the way to my OB/GYN.  Let me repeat myself:  A house I drive by TWICE A WEEK or more.

Let me just say "I was shocked".   Why was this never noticed before?  Why had I failed to see it?   Upon looking around at the general vicinity, I noticed two reasons as to why I've never seen the Extreme Makeover Home.

A - It sits back a little from the road and B - HORSES. 

I am not a big horse fan, but directly across the street is a muddy horse pasture.  And, of course, whenever I see it, I start wondering about those poor horses standing there in the mud; no grass, just mud.   The horses look sad.  I worry about them and the dismal land they occupy. 

Did I take a picture of the muddy horse pasture?  No - too chicken.  Because the house next to the muddy horse pasture is even SCARIER than the mysterious airport.  It is  a shotgun-carrying-shoot-and-ask-questions-later-I'm-a pissed-off-back woods-maniac-whose-got-a-muddy-horse pasture-and-fifty cars-plus-parts-in my yard-and-I-probably-make-meth-in-my-bathroom-sink kind of place. 

I was nervous enough taking a picture of the Extreme Makeover House.  (Privacy for the family was running through my mind at the time).  But take a picture of the freaky muddy horse pasture and scary house?  BAWK BAWK BAWK

Where is Vicki when a chicken girl really needs her?

Another Mystery - Somewhat Solved

Remember Nite?  The mysterious name change of our friend Neil Smith?  Well, we have received another letter.... still a bit mysterious, but some answers.

I came home from vacation to a pile of mail.  Within was a letter from Nite.  I immediately opened the envelope to find a very official and legal sounding letter.  Here are some excerpts:

Hello Dave and Karmyn
(I) (NITE) Have recently returned home to "smalltown USA"
(I) (NITE) am in the process needed to record all documents in my LEGAL NAME (NITE):

inserted are a bunch of legal terms, case numbers, and dates.

March: Search for Lost Family.  I have returned home after being Detained in "Biggertown USA".  I am Inventorying my Art Work as the Home was Broken into while I was out of town.  NO watch dog to protect the place as my dog, Seal, was killed.

This breaks my heart.  Seal was a wonderful dog and his best friend.  Oh - and Search for Lost Family?  He includes a list of names of people (us included) who seem to be his Lost Family.  We recognize a couple of the names.  (Neil had been estranged from his blood family for years - due to their inability to accept his sexual orientation.)

Mail Stolen:  Bank Statements, Credit Card Statements, Dividend Checks, Mortgage Papers, and other Personal Mail.  Social Security Number Stolen.  Bank Account Numbers Stolen.  Credit Card Numbers Stolen.  Mortgage Number Stolen.  Drivers License Number Stolen.  Internet Passwords Stolen.

Investigation still pending - It's Murder out at the house.

For these reasons I have Legally Altered Name.

Okay - finally some answers.  Obviously, Neil, now known as NITE, had some serious ID Theft occur to him.  I suspect someone broke into his home and killed his dog to get all this information.  Breaks my heart for him.  He must be having a tough time.  His letter goes on to give us some advice about finances and stocking up on food in case the market drops out.  So - I think he may have had a little break down too.  Dave is in process of writing to him to find out more.

I was a bit worried about putting his new name down - but, considering that he has made a point to write that he has NO PHONE, NO INTERNET, and NO TELEVISION - I don't think he is ever going to find this.

After reading the letter, Dave and I talked about what sort of situation would drive us to the breaking point.  Id Theft?  I've heard a lot of stories about how it ruins people's lives - but to change a name and go into complete seclusion?  What do you think? 

SPRING??? BREAK

View from our room on Wednesday Afternoon.  Yes - that is snow.

Snow on the Oregon Coast is pretty rare - especially during Spring Break.

So - what did we do while it snowed?

Put together a 1500 piece puzzle.

Where did we go when it snowed?

To see Jake the Alligator Man

And OTHER (click the link, I dare you) Rare Oddities.

Fun Monday - B is for Birth

Swampy, the queen of breaking the rules, is hosting this week's Fun Monday with an ABC Assignment.  Since she was hosting, I decided to break the rules, but considering that Birth starts with B - I'm really only BENDING the rules.

Sarcastic Mom is having a carnival today - all about sharing birth stories.  Since Jammin's birthday is 2 weeks away and I am about to undergo this birth process again, I decided to tell his story.

My pregnancy with Jammin' was fairly easy.  There weren't any complications or major problems.  However, I was scared shitless.  Oh yes.  During birthing class, I'd leave bawling, after watching the birthing video.  Anytime I thought about labor I'd cry.  I was so afraid of the pain.  I'd heard horror stories growing up, while sitting with the women of my family and listening to them recount their birthing stories.  I was beyond terrified.

But, of course, by the time a pregnant woman hits week 40, fear is no longer an issue.  She is so uncomfortable that she becomes almost willing to do ANYTHING to get that baby out...even go through labor.  And when a woman reaches Week 41, she is desperate.  When a woman hits 10 days past the due she is beyond desperate.  She chooses to be induced.   

Well, Jammin' was due March 27th.  The due date came and went.  Another week passed and each time I was checked by the doctor, she'd say, "Hmmm....no progress."  This meant there was no effacing or dilation.   In other words - my cervix was closed up tight as a rock.

When I was ten days overdue and nearing my sanity breaking point I was given the option to be induced or wait over the weekend.  Of course I chose to be induced.

Thursday night, Dave and I checked into the hospital at 10pm.  Some type of cream was rubbed onto my cervix to help promote a ripening.  I could hardly sleep the whole night - so excited and nervous.  I experienced very mild contractions the entire night, but they were not painful, just very mild cramping. 

Friday morning at 8am I was hooked up with Pitocin.  This is not a nice drug.  There is no gentle build up to strong contractions.  BAM - have a painful contraction.  Three minutes later  BAM - have another.   By the tenth contraction, I was no longer afraid of the birthing process.  I was completely absorbed by it and knew that although they hurt like hell I could live through the pain. 

By noon I was in agony.  I had only dilated to 3cm.  Labor was going to take all day long.  My entire labor goal was to "stick it out as long as possible".  When I started puking with contractions at 1:30 it was time to for the epidural. 

While the anesthesiologist prepared his dosage, I cried to the nurse.  "My sister-in-law had all 3 babies naturally."  My male nurse spoke truth to me.  It was the nicest thing I have heard, and thus, have never forgotten.  "That was HER birth.  This is YOUR birth.  It doesn't matter what she did.  It only matters what YOU want."

The epidural went in and IMMEDIATELY I was relieved....but maybe too relieved.  I was completely numb from the waist down.  I didn't realize at the time, but the anesthesiologist had over done my epidural.   I had the chills and the shakes, but there was no pain.  I actually slept a little.

At 10pm, my body had finally reached the pushing point.  I was still completely numb so had to be told when to push.  At some point over the next 90 minutes I looked up at the doctor and said "Something just popped". 

The doctor, eyes wide asked "What do you mean something just popped?" 

I said, "I don't know, I felt a pop."  She murmured something about my tailbone.

Jammin' arrived at 11:45pm.  He scared us by not breathing right away, but after some quick suctioning, he was fine.  He weighed 7lbs, 6oz and 21" long.  The vernix was completely gone.  He was an overdue baby.  We were fortunate he hadn't pooped out any meconium in utero.

After the birth, the nurse asked me to get up from the bed so she could change the sheets.  Get up from the bed?  I was completely numb.  Dave had to pick me up.  The nurse acted surprised. 

At 4am, I needed to pee like a racehorse.  Lucky for me Dave had slept over.  Once again he helped me from the bed to the bathroom.  My legs were still partially numb from the epidural.

At 8am the epidural finally wore off and that is when the EXCRUCIATING pain began.  I had broken my tailbone pushing Jammin' out.  I asked for drugs.  I had to be helped out of the bed.  I cried in pain.  I remember the nurses looking at me as if I was a wimp.  One even rolled her eyes at me.

Looking back, I realize that the nurses had never been told I'd broken my tailbone.  If they had, I think they might have treated me a little nicer.

I had an epidural headache for 2 days and a 4 week recovery for my tailbone.  The first 2 weeks were complete agony.  Dave had to lift me from the bed and from any sitting position.  Sometimes I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time.  It was NOT fun.

But - I had my baby boy and that was really the only thing that mattered.

Sidenote - when I gave birth to Buttercup, I had an epidural as well and felt great after the birth.  I was up and walking around within 30 minutes.  I think the anesthesiologist overdid it with Jammin'.

Mystery Somewhat Solved

Wow do I love Blogging.  Why do you ask?  Well - my fellow bloggers are amazing.

After posting my spy picture yesterday - The Mysterious Plane - Jana asked me if I had used Google Earth to find it.  Well, I just e-mailed her a little bit of information - and she found it for me! 

Enlarge the picture to see it more clearly.  The plane is to the left edge of the shadowed hills (by the orange dot).  (This picture was obviously taken in the middle of summer because those fields and hills are bright green right now)

And according to the map - it is located at "Flying Tom Airport" and labeled a DC-3.

Well - no sooner had I received this bit of information than Willowtree directed me to THIS SITE - Friends of the DC-3.

Thus - the mysterious plane is no longer so mysterious.  I suspect Flying Tom is maintaining this DC-3.  I bet if I had finished my drive up that hill to the airport I would not have been met by a shotgun-carrying Farmer, but some nice guy who would be more than willing to have shared his story.

Of course, I didn't know it was an airport - because none of the "NO TRESPASSING" signs even mentioned it.  But, I guess I should have guessed because of the following picture I didn't post yesterday:

   
See that orange flag?  I believe it is used for wind direction.  DUH - don't small airports usually have such things?  But, I still don't see a landing strip.

Spy Pictures Revisited

I really have not been that productive with spy pictures.  Note Case 1 and Case 2  (especially Case 2).  I know these pictures were from a year ago, but my lack of spyness has really bothered me.  It's been a constant source of irritation to my self esteem. 

Well, I finally drove out and got myself a good spy picture.  At least I think it is.  I feel vindicated - and only because getting this spy picture involved driving down a PRIVATE Dirt road with "NO TRESPASSING" signs everywhere and me sweating up a storm, hoping beyond hope that no freaky farmer dude was going to come out with a shotgun and point it at me.

Here it is - THE PLANE!

This plane can only be seen in the winter - and just briefly from a certain viewpoint on a back road.  Once the foliage grows, any road views are obscured.

It's a big freaking plane.  Look at it.  It dwarfs that building.  Yet, there is NO Landing strip....just a one lane road up to the building and lots of grass fields - which, by the way, are all sloped. 

As soon as I saw the plane, I had to take a picture.  I was amazed.  When I asked a few people about it who have lived in this area for years, they responded with "What Plane?"  They hadn't seen it before.

So - here is another shot of the plane taken from that ONE spot on the back country road.  It is a little blurry - but it shows the plane off well.  See how freaking big it is?  How did it get there?  Who owns it?  Is it ever flown - and if so, how do they land it without a proper strip?

Questions I will never know the answer to. 

If I was a little braver I might continue down that dirt road and actually ask the questions.  But, then again - you never know how many bodies are being stored in that building right now.   

Two years of Clowning Around

Here it is March 19th - My Bloggiversary.  Time sure flies when you are blogging.  Two years already?  How did that happen?

I was going to write something very witty and eloquent about blogging for two years.  I have no excuses for failing to live up to my own goal except that I had to deal with animals yesterday.  After cleaning up both dog pee, cat urine, AND cat vomit - I puked myself and then needed a nap.  (I think it had something to do with Monday's post).

So, instead of some great affair like Last Year - I'm going to leave you with this:

Buttercup - Future Make-up Artist or Clown Designer.  You Decide....

Fun Monday - A Whale of a Good Time

Nikki asked for made-up words or green beer stories.

Well - my mom, Pamela, pretty much says it all when it comes to made-up words in my family.  I will always be Gooey.   So, there was no point in me writing a post about that.

However, I have decided to share a beer story.  It is gross, disgusting, and pretty gooey.  (hence, why I decided to write it today).  A story that involves an old ex-boyfriend.  I was not there to witness the event (thankfully), but heard about it afterwards....

Kit was a hard partier.  And the fact his birthday was St. Patrick's Day did not help with the situation....especially when he turned 21.  He had heard the many stories of legal drinkers losing their minds on their birthday, passing out drunk, and then choking on their own vomit and dying.  We had all heard the stories.

Kit vowed this would NOT happen to him.  He wasn't going to choke on his own puke and die.

So, on his 21st birthday he partied hard.  Harder than normal.  He probably partied to the point of blood alcohol poisoning.  But this didn't stop him.

A friend took pity on the completely wasted Kit and took him to her own apartment, where she could keep an eye on the passed out drunk.  Her roommate was out of town, so she laid the passed out Kit on the extra bed, face down in case he puked.  She didn't want him choking on his own vomit and dying. Not on her watch.

Sometime in the wee morning hours she heard it - the sound of retching and gagging.  But following that a sound she had never heard before.  She raced to the bedroom to witness a scene of horror and hilarity.

Kit was lying on his back, and each time he puked, he would SPEW the vomit up into the air - much like a whale.   The puke was everywhere - covering him and the bed like a blanket. 

PUKE - SPEW - UPCHUCK - SPEW - VOMIT - SPEW     You get the picture.

When asked about his wild night, Kit would respond "Well, all I remember was that I wasn't going to choke on my own vomit and die."  And, he didn't.

Best Invention Ever

EARPLUGS.

I took the weekend off to scrapbook with some ladies I met back in November.  They were great.  Fun, friendly, but REALLY LOUD. 

Especially the one I shared a room with.  She had a chainsaw for a snore.  After the first night, I stumbled from the room, more tired than before I went to bed.  In my mind, I remembered a random pair of earplugs in my van.  I ran outside and searched.

Earplugs are salvation.  Saturday night I slept like a log.  I might have even snored....not that it mattered.

Life is Cruel

My due date is May 23rd.

HE comes to theaters May 22nd.

Life seems so unfair.

Click HERE to view the trailer!