Dreaming What Ifs...

The Scariest of Them All

When Jammin' told me his idea for Halloween, my initial reaction was to persuade him to choose something else.

His choice could not be found in the local retail shop.
I would have to make this costume with my limited sewing abilities (i.e. - I stink)

But then, I felt a deliciously Evil feeling warm my body.  A feeling of complete desire to scare and ruin someone's happy day.  That someone was Jenny (The Bloggess and Mama Drama).  She would HATE his costume.  She would DETEST his costume.  She would scream in fear.  heh heh heh - BWAA HAAA HAA.

And so it began - nights of laying in bed planning the costume, trips to the fabric store to buy felt, stuffing, and thread, a day of trying to thread the sewing machine, and one night of pure agony making the beast.

And here you have it: What Jenny fears most:      

THE GIANT SQUID

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Too Much Information - Part Cuatro

Jana, from Later....I'm Blogging, tagged me with Six Random Things About Myself.  Well, I figured now was a good enough time to say it.....

1.  I watched Mulan and bawled like a baby when her father ran after her and fell in the mud.

2.  I can't stand the smell of the fermenting cabbage (Sauerkraut) in the garage.  It makes me gag.

3.  I have to go to bed by 9pm otherwise I won't function in the morning.

4.  The dogs think when I get up to pee they should too.  Three times a night is not an option for them.

5.  I just bought myself a body pillow.  I am going to need the support soon.

6.  I'm taking Prometrium.

Have you figured it out yet?  Need another clue?

That's me - the second one from the left.    WHAT?!?!  You think I'm getting fat?  Well....maybe.  I can't diet for 30 more weeks.

Have you figured it out yet????

Of course you have...................My dute date is May 23.  I'm Pregnant!!!!!!!!

An E-mail Forward

I don't usually post things I receive by e-mail because I know how quickly they fly around through the in-boxes.  But this was too good to pass up.

Mommy must be so proud:

Neighborhood Spy Picture or Why there is Global Warming

The burn ban for my rural county has been lifted.  So, neighbor Bob trimmed all the Fotinia bushes and decided it was a good time to burn them.  Did he wait for them to dry up and be crisp?  Of course not,  He likes to burn "GREEN", thus Smoke.  Lots of smoke.  And just think - last year the wind was going in the opposite direction....toward my house.  Some days I just love Bob.  He's really a considerate neighbor.

Boston Ballplayers Bare Bizarre Beards.

World Series Fashion Statements or just simply Facial Faux Pas?

chinstraps, goatees, or lower hair-lip soul patch.

I just tell it as I see it.

Obligatory Pumpkin Patch Pictures

And the End Result

If I Were a Rich Bitch....

Oops, I meant Rich and Famous.

It has been a long while since I've been tagged - and this one intrigued me.  The Desperate Horsewife forced enticed me to play a fun game that is right up Dreaming What ifs.....

When I Become Famous".  Now I must list my demands.

Bwaa haa haa haa - my demands....

1.  I will expect my personal maids to follow me and my children around the house and pick up after us, constantly.  Nothing should EVER be left on the ground - that includes toys, shoes, backpacks, pieces of paper, and random crayons.

2.  My personal Chef will keep a supply of fresh salsa and homemade mashed potatoes in the fridge at all times, as well as a loaf of warm french bread on the counter. 

3.  Once a week I will expect a back rub.  I'm not talking Swedish massage, those will be monthly.  I just want a nice relaxing back rub that will relax me into oblivion and won't have to ultimately lead to sex.

4.  My housekeeper WILL do windows, scrub toilets, and keep up with dog hair to my satisfaction.

5.  At the slightest leak in my bathroom shower - my handyman will IMMEDIATELY drop everything and fix the leak.....and not let it drip continuously for months until I'm ready to lose my mind.  THAT will NOT be acceptable.

6.  Only the softest Egyptian Cotton Towels will be allowed to touch my body after a luxurious soak in my now dripless shower.

7.  All visitors will bring me chocolate.  If you want to see my drip-free shower and use my Egyptian Cotton Towels, a bar of the dark stuff is a necessity.

8.  People who drive under the speed limit for no reason will NOT be allowed to drive in front of me.  They will be forced to pull over until I pass.

9.  No appointments will be made until I am ready to rise in the morning and after I've had my luxurious bath in the drip-free shower and used my Egyptian Cotton Towels.  This will usually be after 10am.  That seems early enough to me.

10.  There will be no arguing.  If I tell you to go to bed, you will do it.  If I tell you to pick up your room, you will do it.  If I want my feet rubbed, you will do it.  I am supreme and my word is law.

And now because I am Rich and Bitchy Famous - I will tag the following people and they will comply (because I know a couple of them are doing Nanoblowmo and need material):

Beccy

Bethany

Melissa

Willowtree

John G

Photography

I've been a little distracted lately.  For several reasons** .

But one of them involves my camera.  I am taking a photography class.  I LOVE IT!  I'm learning all sorts of cool stuff (like how to shoot in low light - Yippee!)

Here are a few of my recent pics:

** Being distracted means I don't always comment.  Sorry.

I AM A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

MOMMY!!!!!!!!!



Her birthday was yesterday, October 18th.  Go give her a wish.

Success

After lunch yesterday, I realized the house was too quiet.  Always a bad sign for me.  This meant Buttercup was into something.

I found her in the bathroom, holding a new roll of toilet paper.

"Whatcha doing?"  I asked her.

"The other paper was all gone, so I'm putting this new roll on."  She replied.

My work here is done, people.  If only husbands could be taught this trick as well.