Recently, my husband, Dave, brought home four huge bags full of clothes that had belonged to his cousin, Mark. My in-laws believe in using everything up. Nothing should go to waste. Even though I was a little weirded-out to have bags of a dead-man's clothing, Dave didn't mind. There were a lot of nice clothes in those bags.
Somehow, it became my job to go through them and pick out clothes I thought would fit Dave. Mainly I picked the nicest shirts and shorts. The pants were out. A 32"L will not fit my husband's 6'5" frame. He needs a 36" length.
In the end, I was left with three large bags of clothes to give to GoodWill. My husband was quite shocked.
"Why are you getting rid of so much?" He asked.
"Well, there really wasn't a lot in there that would fit you." I replied.
"I thought there was a whole bag of shorts."
"No" I shook my head. "The rest of that bag was socks and underwear."
My husband thought about this for a moment. "I guess I could use more socks and underwear."
"No way. That's just gross."
"Wearing other people's underwear. That's just gross. yuck." I shook my head. I can't think of anything worse except using someone else's toothbrush.
"Why is it gross if they have been washed?" My husband sees nothing wrong with this.
"It's bad enough to go through his clothes. It kind of creeps me out for some reason, but to wear his underwear? Enough is enough. If you need underwear, I will buy you new ones, okay? I am NOT going to let you wear used underwear."
My husband laughed.
And that is when it became clear to me.
"Honey, when I die, the FIRST thing I want you to do is to open my dresser and get rid of all my panties."
"What?" He laughs some more.
"No, I'm serious. Promise me you'll get rid of them. Burn them if you must."
He laughs some more.
"Promise me, please. After I exhale my last breath run to the bedroom and get rid of them. I don't want anyone else to ever wear them or even think about wearing them."
"That's just because your panties are old and holey."
I just glared and made him promise me one more time. I'm serious. I want those panties BURNED.